A Good First Impression

Inspired by an actual conversation with this guy.

[INT. DAVE'S ROOM - NIGHT]

[Keeley and Dave are playing "Left 4 Dead" on Steam. Over shotgun blasts and undead screams, Keeley speaks casually into the microphone.]

Moi: "Dave, I need you to do me a favor."

Dave: "Unlikely."

Moi: "There's an apartment in the Northwest District that just opened up, and I called the lady today, and she wants to give it to me. But I don't want to rent it site unseen, because you don't know what you're actually getting. Like the last place, where the guy in high heels was taking a long brunch - "

Dave: "Keeley, listening to you summarize something is worse than watching you waste half a clip on that dead fat man you're shooting at."

Moi: "I need you to look at an apartment in Portland for me."

Dave: "Done. Details?"

Moi: "The apartment manager can meet with you around 2 o'clock. Her name is Mary Jane - "

Dave: "DRESSING AS SPIDERMAN."

Moi: "NOPE."

Dave: "YEP."

Moi: "NOOOOOOPE."

Dave: "Try to stop me, you can't."

Moi: "Funny story, Dave - I actually want this apartment, so you're not doing that."

Dave: "Maybe she'll be so blown away by my creativity that she'll immediately give you the apartment at a discounted rate and then take me back into her office for some unrated superpowered action."

Moi: "No Spiderman suit and no realtor desk nastiness."

Dave: "You never let me do anything fun."

Moi: "I'll email you the address."

Dave: "Fine."

Moi: "No Spiderman suit."

Dave: "Fine."

Moi: "Thank you."

Dave: "Fine. Stop slapping me with that first aid pack."

Moi: "I'm trying to heal you, moron!"

Dave: "THEN BUY A DOUBLE CLICK MOUSE, MAC USER."

[INT. FRANCIS COURT APARTMENTS - THE NEXT DAY]

[Keeley apologizes to the realtor over the phone.]

Moi: "I'm so sorry, Mary Jane, he said he'd come."

Mary Jane: "That's okay, we can always reschedule a time - Oh! Hang on, I think I see someone coming."

[A pause.]

Mary Jane: "...He wouldn't be wearing a Spiderman suit, would he?"

Moi: "Nope."

Mary Jane: "Are you s- "

Moi: "YEP."

*WELLATLEASTSHECANBLOGABOUTIT!*