Inspired by an actual conversation with this guy.
[INT. DAVE'S ROOM - NIGHT]
[Keeley and Dave are playing "Left 4 Dead" on Steam. Over shotgun blasts and undead screams, Keeley speaks casually into the microphone.]
Moi: "Dave, I need you to do me a favor."
Dave: "Unlikely."
Moi: "There's an apartment in the Northwest District that just opened up, and I called the lady today, and she wants to give it to me. But I don't want to rent it site unseen, because you don't know what you're actually getting. Like the last place, where the guy in high heels was taking a long brunch - "
Dave: "Keeley, listening to you summarize something is worse than watching you waste half a clip on that dead fat man you're shooting at."
Moi: "I need you to look at an apartment in Portland for me."
Dave: "Done. Details?"
Moi: "The apartment manager can meet with you around 2 o'clock. Her name is Mary Jane - "
Dave: "DRESSING AS SPIDERMAN."
Moi: "NOPE."
Dave: "YEP."
Moi: "NOOOOOOPE."
Dave: "Try to stop me, you can't."
Moi: "Funny story, Dave - I actually want this apartment, so you're not doing that."
Dave: "Maybe she'll be so blown away by my creativity that she'll immediately give you the apartment at a discounted rate and then take me back into her office for some unrated superpowered action."
Moi: "No Spiderman suit and no realtor desk nastiness."
Dave: "You never let me do anything fun."
Moi: "I'll email you the address."
Dave: "Fine."
Moi: "No Spiderman suit."
Dave: "Fine."
Moi: "Thank you."
Dave: "Fine. Stop slapping me with that first aid pack."
Moi: "I'm trying to heal you, moron!"
Dave: "THEN BUY A DOUBLE CLICK MOUSE, MAC USER."
[INT. FRANCIS COURT APARTMENTS - THE NEXT DAY]
[Keeley apologizes to the realtor over the phone.]
Moi: "I'm so sorry, Mary Jane, he said he'd come."
Mary Jane: "That's okay, we can always reschedule a time - Oh! Hang on, I think I see someone coming."
[A pause.]
Mary Jane: "...He wouldn't be wearing a Spiderman suit, would he?"
Moi: "Nope."
Mary Jane: "Are you s- "
Moi: "YEP."
*WELLATLEASTSHECANBLOGABOUTIT!*